How to use Song of Solomon to write hot romance

There’s lots of guides out there about how to write romance. One of my favorites is Jami Gold’s romance beat sheet, which single-handedly taught me how a romance works.

But there’s other ways to write a romance. When I was studying Song of Solomon one year, I realized that I could use a lot of this material as a pattern to really amp up my own writing.

First off, I’m using the Amplified translation, because it has all kinds of stage directions and explanations in it that make it even hotter. Let’s take a look:

 

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth! [she cries. Then, realizing that Solomon has arrived and has heard her speech, she turns to him and adds] For your love is better than wine!
3 [And she continues] The odor of your ointments is fragrant; your name is like perfume poured out. Therefore do the maidens love you.
4 Draw me! We will run after you! The king brings me into his apartments! We will be glad and rejoice in you! We will recall [when we were favored with] your love, more fragrant than wine. The upright [are not offended at your choice, but sincerely] love you.
The book opens with the girl proclaiming her love for the man in all kinds of metaphors. Never underestimate the power of metaphor in setting a mood. She compares him to wine and perfume. Ever notice how in romance novels, the girl always thinks the guy smells like vanilla and sandalwood? Same idea.
One key to a hot romance comes early on:
I am so black; but [you are] lovely and pleasant [the ladies assured her]. O you daughters of Jerusalem, [I am as dark] as the tents of [the Bedouin tribe] Kedar, like the [beautiful] curtains of Solomon!
6 [Please] do not look at me, [she said, for] I am swarthy. [I have worked out] in the sun and it has left its mark upon me. My stepbrothers were angry with me, and they made me keeper of the vineyards; but my own vineyard [my complexion] I have not kept.
7 [Addressing her shepherd, she said] Tell me, O you whom my soul loves, where you pasture your flock, where you make it lie down at noon. For why should I [as I think of you] be as a veiled one straying beside the flocks of your companions?
8 If you do not know [where your lover is], O you fairest among women, run along, follow the tracks of the flock, and [amuse yourself by] pasturing your kids beside the shepherds’ tents.
First off, the girl doesn’t consider herself beautiful. She’s a shepherdess and she’s got a super dark tan, her complexion isn’t great, etc. But she longs for her lover anyway, and asks her boss where he is. Her boss sends her back to work, lol. Notice the longing is starting to build.
Her lover reassures her that he finds her beautiful anyway:
O my love [he said as he saw her], you remind me of my [favorite] mare in the chariot spans of Pharaoh.
10 Your cheeks are comely with ornaments, your neck with strings of jewels.
11 We will make for you chains and ornaments of gold, studded with silver.
He reassures her that he will adorn her until everyone sees her as beautiful and valuable as he does. Comparing her to a horse seems like a bit of a slam in our culture, but horses were the height of power and wealth at that time, so it’s meant as a high compliment.
[SHE SAID] I am only a little rose or autumn crocus of the plain of Sharon, or a [humble] lily of the valleys [that grows in deep and difficult places].
2 But Solomon replied, Like the lily among thorns, so are you, my love, among the daughters.
3 Like an apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved [shepherd] among the sons [cried the girl]! Under his shadow I delighted to sit, and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
4 He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love [for love waved as a protecting and comforting banner over my head when I was near him].
Again she states her low status, and again he reassures her that he loves her anyway. They go on a hot date where he introduces her to his court.
And then they have to wait for the wedding.
[Vividly she pictured it] The voice of my beloved [shepherd]! Behold, he comes, leaping upon the mountains, bounding over the hills. [John 10:27.]
9 My beloved is like a gazelle or a young hart. Behold, he stands behind the wall of our house, he looks in through the windows, he glances through the lattice.
The lattice refers to all the barriers still standing between them. All good romances have these to heighten the tension.
The next thing all romances have is anticipation. She’s looking forward to spring, presumably because that’s when the wedding will happen.
10 My beloved speaks and says to me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.
11 For, behold, the winter is past; the rain is over and gone.
12 The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing [of birds] has come, and the voice of the turtledove is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree puts forth and ripens her green figs, and the vines are in blossom and give forth their fragrance. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.
14 [So I went with him, and when we were climbing the rocky steps up the hillside, my beloved shepherd said to me] O my dove, [while you are here] in the seclusion of the clefts in the solid rock, in the sheltered and secret place of the cliff, let me see your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.
15 [My heart was touched and I fervently sang to him my desire] Take for us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards [of our love], for our vineyards are in blossom.
The little foxes are the cares and worries that slowly pull a relationship apart. They spoil the vineyards of love. Again, this causes great conflict in a romantic story, but it can destroy a couple if it goes on too long.
16 [She said distinctly] My beloved is mine and I am his! He pastures his flocks among the lilies. [Matt. 10:32; Acts 4:12.]
17 [Then, longingly addressing her absent shepherd, she cried] Until the day breaks and the shadows flee away, return hastily, O my beloved, and be like a gazelle or a young hart as you cover the mountains [which separate us].
More longing. Lots of longing. All the longing. This is the engine that drives any good romance. It doesn’t matter if you’re writing one with lots of bed scenes, or without any physical contact at all. It’s all about the longing, and the more you stretch it out, the more your readers will be panting for your characters to finally get together.
To sum up, here’s the points to remember:
  • Self-deprecation (I’m not worthy! What does the other person possibly see in me?)
  • Adoration of the other person (he’s so wonderful! She’s so wonderful!)
  • The lattices and little foxes that keep them apart.
Song of Solomon repeats this cycle in later chapters, with interesting additions of the girl looking for her lover at night, and being caught and beaten by the night watchmen for being out alone. (Harsh culture, no?) I think that’s to show what lengths she’ll go to reunite with her lover, even if it costs her dearly.
Anyway, if you need to add a little romance to a story, or if you’re writing a romance novel, these are a few points to keep in mind. A romance can be smoking hot without any physical contact whatsoever if you add plenty of longing.
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