I was reviewing the last book I read, and I thought, “You know, I should put that on my blog.”
Then I thought about the 23 books I’ve read this year and how I ought to review them on my blog, too. But who has time to read 23 book reviews?
So, I present to you, with apologies to Rinkworks, 23 BOOKS REVIEWED IN A MINUTE! That means very, very, very short reviews of each.
Love, Lies, and Hocus Pocus: Beginnings by Lydia Sherrier
Lily: I’m a wizard.
Sebastian: I’m a witch.
They solve PROBLEMS with MAGIC.
The Firethorn Crown by Lea Doue
Twelve princesses are cursed to DANCE EVERY NIGHT until LILY agrees to MARRY her BLACKMAILER.
Love, Lies, and Hocus Pocus: Revelations by Lydia Sherrier
Lily: Sebastian, are you keeping secrets?
Sebastian: Yes. Lily, are you keeping secrets?
Fire Water by Domino Finn (book 5 of Black Magic Outlaw)
Cisco goes to the ELEMENTAL PLANE and there learns an INTERESTING FACT.
A girl named HUALIAMA is TOO TOUGH TO DIE because DRAGONS. Also GRANDION has secrets TOO.
Love, Lies, and Hocus Pocus: Allies, by Lydia Sherrier
Lily and Sebastian don’t TRUST EACH OTHER because they’re a WIZARD and a WITCH with TERRIBLE HOME LIVES.
A Tale of Time City by Diana Wynne Jones
VIVIAN SMITH is FAMOUS for RUINING ALL OF TIME. See: nuclear war in WWII.
Spellsmith and Carver, by H.L. Burke
Auric: I hate my crazy dad.
Jericho: I love your crazy dad.
Auric: I hate you now, too.
CRAZY DAD runs away into the FEYLANDS.
Auric: I take it back.
Love, Lies, and Hocus Pocus: Legends, by Lydia Sherrier
Lily and Sebastian go to ENGLAND because of MORGAN LAFEY.
Mars Evacuees by Sophia McDougall
A bunch of KIDS go to MARS to escape ALIENS but find aliens ANYWAY.
Cities of Gold by Douglas Preston
A couple of guys try to retrace the path CORONADO took from Mexico up through New Mexico. The desert SUCKED back then and it STILL SUCKS.
Brothers: One of us turns into a snake when somebody looks at him. The other turns into a snake when nobody is looking.
Sisters: One of us has healing powers but gets uglier when she uses them. The other gets more beautiful the more cruel she is.
Now they have to GET MARRIED.
Captain: We can fly this alien ship even though it was designed by BUGS
BUGS start KIDNAPPING PEOPLE
Captain: Let’s rescue these people.
BUGS HATCH OUT OF THEM
Anna is a WEREWOLF OMEGA which means she can CALM DOWN OTHER WOLVES. So when a WEREWOLF starts hearing VOICES she can CALM HIM except the voices are caused by an EVIL WITCH.
The Blue Castle by L.M. Montgomery
Valancy has a WEIRD NAME and a BORING LIFE. Then she finds out she has A YEAR TO LIVE. So she IS RUDE TO HER RELATIVES and GETS MARRIED.
The Tethered World by Heather L.L. FitzGerald
HOMESCHOOLERS go to a FANTASY WORLD that is really the GARDEN OF EDEN with ELVES.
Dragon Lyric by Bethany A. Jennings
Dragon: Wives are beautiful. And delicious.
Fabled, by Kara Jaynes
A girl can’t go to ARCHERY SCHOOL so she runs away and FIGHTS FAIRYTALES INSTEAD.
The Midnight Queen, by Sylvia Izzo Hunter
Sophie is studying MAGICK even though it’s IMPROPER.
Gray: I am disgraced and accused of murder. Shall I teach you magick?
Sophie’s father: I have a plot to kill the king and pin it on Gray.
Sophie and Gray GO ON THE RUN.