Godzilla-zon vs Hachette-turtle

The war between Amazon and Hachette is escalating. I’m sure by this time next year, nobody will remember this, so summary for posterity:

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Amazon wants Hachette (a big publishing company) to sell ebooks at 9.99 or lower. Hachette wants to sell at 14.99, or thereabouts. They’ve been deadlocked for months.

It’s like watching Godzilla-Amazon fighting a giant turtle.

Godzilla-zon: Flaming fireball of REMOVE BUY BUTTON FROM YOUR BOOKS!

Hachette-turtle: (closes shell tighter)

Godzilla-zon: Claw swipe of EXTREMELY SLOW SHIPPING!

Hachette-turtle: (snaps at opponent’s ankle) C’mon, just give us what we want.

Godzilla-zon: (roars to onlookers) THEY ONLY PAY THEIR AUTHORS FIFTEEN PERCENT ROYALTY!

Onlookers: Ooo, ahhh.

Hachette-turtle: (bites Godzilla-Zion’s leg) IF HE WINS, GODZILLA-ZON WILL EAT YOUR ROYALTIES AND YOUR CHILDREN!

Godzilla-zon: LIES! (Drops a huge pile of Kindle Unlimited on top of lesser monster Scribd)

Onlookers: Apple-bot and Google-beast, save us!

Godzilla-zon: ONLOOKERS, FIRE UPON HACHETTE WITH WEAPONS OF PUBLIC DISGRACE! I CAN’T OPEN THE SHELL ALONE!

(Onlookers do lesser battle among themselves)

How will it end? Who will triumph? FIND OUT SOON!

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